fetuskhan

I think about this often. I think many millenials, whatever you want to call us, have an addiction to work. It's fucking us up. Relationships suffer, friendships suffer. This pursuit of happiness in an activity or survival for most, what are we doing it for? How many of us have a plan to retire? Horror movies don't scare me but the thought of being left behind by the "system" or homeless at 65 (if I make it) because the cost of living is abysmal... that's what scares me. Kids? Sure, I want them but why would I when I might not be able to give them the life they deserve? I could sacrifice my own happiness for theirs but... is that enough? Thi

I haven't felt this type of pain in so long. I don't like it. It's like a constant vibration in my chest and stomach. Everything I look at makes me sad. I suck. I hate myself. My friends are awesome but I am ashamed to ask them for a hug. I hate that I seek validation from other people. Just stop it. Stop it now. You're awesome dammit. I feel like shit but this will pass. Just one step at a time. I also have to quit drinking. It's too easy to feel good when I drink and I need to push through without it. Fuck. How sad is it that the only way to talk about whats going on in my life is through a long dead deviantart account? I'll eventually ge

Hello, old friend. Where to start.... this is the only place I can write what's on my mind and I don't have to keep my image up. Be myself. Open up to nobody. I need to write it out so it feels real. Two weeks ago, a 4 year chapter of my life closed. A mutual agreement. The sad thing though, she was someone I should have stayed with. There were very good times and very bad times. The reason it ended was because the bad times had the same root. I get sad thinking about it, that we both refused to change. The stubbornness of the both of us. When you spend 4 years with someone, everything reminds you of them. Your life is ingrained with the li